My career as a helping professional has taken a meandering path from the start. It all began with studying Reiki and becoming a Reiki practitioner. From there, I realized that the clients on my table often wanted to talk, so I researched the best ways to help them, ultimately deciding to get certified in life coaching (and later becoming a licensed therapist). Though, ultimately, it’s the life coaching model I most align with.
When I first became a certified life coach, though, a lot of people asked me how it was different from being a therapist. So I came up with a definition that really works. More importantly, it’s one almost everybody can understand.
To make it easy, I used terminology that most people already know. In short, I described the difference as that of being more like an archaeologist (therapist) or an architect (life coach).
You see, a therapist is there to help their client uncover things through talk therapy, or other modalities. In that sense, therapists are like an archaeologist, exploring the layers underneath what is seen and helping their clients make sense of what they find.
A life coach will work with the same person in a different way. They will acknowledge that there might be stuff underneath the ground where they plan to build, and they will address things that come up along the way (or refer out), but their focus is on accepting the starting point and building from there. So life coaches are more like an architect in that regard, working with their client to draw up blueprints and helping them design the life they want.
I’ve always loved this analogy, as it makes the process really tangible for the person seeking a better understanding—especially if they are the client in need of help. My definitions felt even more accurate after I went back to school to get my masters in social work for clinical therapy and became a licensed therapist (now retired). During my education, training, and field study, I realized just how important it was to know which type of helping professional you are—or want to be—so that you can do your best for your clients.
For a while, I thought I would be both. In fact, in the therapy world, there is a modality called Motivational Interviewing that mirrors the training I received as a certified coach. Sort of. While Motivational Interviewing was therapy’s answer to life coaching, they aren’t actually the same. And for me, as it turned out, I was much more aligned with being a certified life coach than a licensed therapist. Here’s why:
Coaching isn’t therapy… and it shouldn’t be.
Therapy is amazing. In fact, I believe all helping professionals should see a therapist regularly to help them process through the very human experience of helping others. Therapy is an incredible gift a person can give to themselves to make life better. It’s deliberately not meant to be everything that life coaching is. As such, therapy is a safe space for a person to vent, rant, share, and process what goes on in their mind without judgment, fear, or interruption.
It’s that last bit that’s important: interruption.
If you think about it, in our lives, we are interrupted more often than not. To have a place you can go to once a week for an hour and not be interrupted as you share your thoughts, ideas, and emotions is truly wonderful. Sacred, even. I truly support therapy as a modality for that reason.
However, coaching isn’t that. Yes, it’s a safe space, and yes, it is sacred. It’s also a judgment-free zone, and a place to share your thoughts and ideas… but it’s also designed to be interactive. Coaching, as a modality, is meant to be very engaging, for both the client and the coach, in a totally unique way. I refer to it as the three I’s of life coaching:
Coaching is meant to be Interactive, Instructive, and Integrative.
Interactive – In coaching, there is conversation. It’s very much a two-way street. Both the client and the coach ask questions and navigate the answers together. In some ways, it’s meant to feel like having a conversation with a trusted friend—only, this trusted friend has a laser-like attention to focus the conversation on what needs addressing in order to move forward. Unlike a traditional therapist, a coach is meant to engage in discussion with their client throughout the session.
Instructive – Coaching is also meant to teach. Some of my fellow coaches may initially disagree with me slightly here, and that’s okay. Hear me out. If someone is genuinely looking to create change in their lives, it’s highly likely that they don’t know how to do it, where to begin, or what to ask. They don’t know what they don’t know. They only know they want something different. They are seeking support, advice, and guidance to create the life—or change—they want. To not give them the tools they need to create this change would be a disservice. Therefore, coaching needs to be instructive. As a coach, we teach, and we should teach.
Integrative – Along the lines of teaching, every single one of my clients over the years has been given “homework” during our sessions, which is a key step to helping them create the change they seek. Whatever a client learns during our hour together, they must now reinforce, and they do that through homework. Ultimately, this is what allows them to actually integrate the teaching and change their life. Without this last piece, it’s just knowledge. Over the years, I have said it quite bluntly: “Knowing isn’t enough; it’s what you do with it that matters.” Integrating the work is what allows the client to succeed where they may have previously failed, often repeatedly.
Coaching isn’t for everyone, just as therapy isn’t for everyone. Knowing the right solution for your situation is what matters. Also, understanding that neither the coach nor the therapist can do it for you is paramount. Your life is your own. If you want your life to change, you’re the only one who can make that happen. There are abundant resources in the world to help, but ultimately, the one person that matters most in that equation is you.
My hope is that you now have a better understanding of the difference between these two resources so that you can make more informed decisions about what will help you the most.