I love this math equation. My question is: What if that blood relative wants more from the relationship? Someone who has deep needs and relies on you to fulfill them, but does not take into consideration your emotions/needs?
Hi Sarah, That's a good question. Try replacing the players to see what the answer might be for you. If the two people in question were co-workers, for example, what would you suggest? What if they were classmates?
Of course, if there is a hierarchy in place (such as a person who is physically dependent on another person), that's different. But if there's no physical dependency, then I'd suggest it's not a relationship; it's a service. You are providing a service akin to being a caregiver, because the "relationship" is not mutual.
All relationships ebb and flow over time, so it's also important to look at the whole picture, not just a segment of time. But if it's been predominantly one direction the whole time, then it's more likely that this is someone you're related to, not someone you're in a relationship with. In that case, it might be healthier for you to seek having your emotional needs met elsewhere, such as with friendships, etc. It might also be helpful to develop clearer boundaries on roles and expectations.
I love this math equation. My question is: What if that blood relative wants more from the relationship? Someone who has deep needs and relies on you to fulfill them, but does not take into consideration your emotions/needs?
Hi Sarah, That's a good question. Try replacing the players to see what the answer might be for you. If the two people in question were co-workers, for example, what would you suggest? What if they were classmates?
Of course, if there is a hierarchy in place (such as a person who is physically dependent on another person), that's different. But if there's no physical dependency, then I'd suggest it's not a relationship; it's a service. You are providing a service akin to being a caregiver, because the "relationship" is not mutual.
All relationships ebb and flow over time, so it's also important to look at the whole picture, not just a segment of time. But if it's been predominantly one direction the whole time, then it's more likely that this is someone you're related to, not someone you're in a relationship with. In that case, it might be healthier for you to seek having your emotional needs met elsewhere, such as with friendships, etc. It might also be helpful to develop clearer boundaries on roles and expectations.
I hope that helps. xo,M.