Why Can't I Be Happy?
"Ask Martina"—A reader-directed column
Q: Why can't I be happy? I mean, how do I make myself happy? I see people around me looking happy, but I can't seem to figure out how to be happy, even when I'm with them. Is happiness real? Or maybe it's not possible for some people?
Signed, 😞
A: Dear 😞,
Firstly, I am sorry that you are feeling this way. To question whether happiness is real, or even possible, says to me that you are in a very difficult place. A place that I would not wish for anyone to be in.
[Note: If you feel you are experiencing depression, or depressive symptoms, it would be best to seek professional assistance from a licensed healthcare provider. There are wonderful resources, including medications, that can help.]
We all experience periods in our lives that bring more sadness than joy. Life is lived on a spectrum, not in a single place. For most people, that spectrum can be pretty wide. For some people, the spectrum can feel a lot smaller. Based on the question you asked, it sounds like you experience your spectrum of emotions as smaller than what you might witness in others.
So, let’s first address the “others” aspect of your question…