Tips & Quips—TIP: Focus on the Low-Hanging Fruit
Here’s a hard truth: Our “Hustle-And-Grind-Aspirational-Culture” (HAGAC – sounds like a phlegm-y cough…gross!) has created a society of people who rarely feel satisfied or content. There’s always more, more, MORE! If you have felt this way, you’re not alone. I’ve been there, and I can report that 100% of my clients have expressed some amount of this as well. How can we not feel this way when the vast majority of messaging we receive on a daily basis is that we aren’t okay, exactly as we are?
Well, one of the pitfalls of this cultural epidemic is the constant “chasing” of things: Chasing youth; Chasing money; Chasing material things; Chasing relationships; Chasing jobs and success… the list could go on and on. We chase what we think will make us happier or better, based on the messaging we have received.
But does it really?
For most people, when they get the thing they chased, yes… temporarily.
To get what you’ve chased is a win, which translates to a whole lot of feel-good chemicals flooding your brain. Over time, however, those feel-good chemicals fade, because the “win” that you got was all attached to the one thing. But the “thing” may not have actually been what you wanted. Not really, anyway. It’s the equivalent of saying, “When I get the job title I want, I’ll be happy.” But then you get it, and you don’t have the happiness you expected, so you have to set your sights on something else. This means that you will constantly have to find another thing to chase, thus prompting a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction and constantly striving for more. (PS: In coaching/therapy speak, this is called a ‘geographic cure.’)
Conversely, if you focus on the “low-hanging fruit” in your world and take time to invest your energy and emotions there, you are much more likely to feel satisfied and content. This is the difference between chasing that one hard-to-reach friend to set up a dinner date, and reaching out to the constant friend to schedule weekly walks or lunches. When you put your energy into the person or thing that is more readily available, or that has self-identified as being authentically supportive, your life becomes much more sustainable and happier.
Of course, life is ultimately about growth. So alongside focusing on low-hanging fruit, some striving is good when it comes from an internal knowing instead of something external. When you identify what you want from the inside and work toward that goal and achieve it, it doesn't create the loop of dissatisfaction and striving.