The Death of an Old Adage

Tips & Quips—QUIP

I grew up mostly in the 1980s—a decade of excess and exponential financial growth… for some. (Think movies like Wall Street.) It was an unapologetic era with seemingly no long-term focus. Consumption and innovation drove the American economy to dizzying heights, and it was the first time I heard the adage: “He who dies with the most toys, wins.”

Movies, TV, and advertising were all focused on the game of winning—but winning what? Winning the job, the house, the car, and… the toys! All the toys. I remember when walkmans and cell phones first came about. It seems almost unimaginable today, but it was genuinely amazing to be able to listen to your favorite music on-the-go or make a phone call outside your house. The 80s became a decade focused on acquiring “toys” as emerging technology started to pave the way for new inventions—or improved inventions—at a rapid pace. 

It took a while for expendable income to catch up with the pace of technology, though, so it truly meant that if you were able to buy all the new toys, you were definitely financially successful (or clandestinely going into debt). In other words, it meant that if you had the toys, you were winning. Hence, the adage.

Looking back, the celebration of excess is almost unbelievable.

However, when you add several decades of life, multiple deaths, and repeated loss onto the story, it actually changes the “almost unbelievable” to ridiculous, at least for me. Because, at the end of the day, he who dies with the most toys… is still dead.

You can’t take it with you. Nobody today is buried like a pharaoh or Chinese emperor with all their worldly possessions accompanying them to the afterlife. (Nor should they be.) Yes, your “toys” can be passed on to your children or other loved ones, but after spending over a decade ghostwriting a weekly newsletter for a company that helps clients rightsize and/or downsize their homes, I learned firsthand that most children don’t actually want their parents’ or grandparents’ stuff. So, who’s winning? Certainly not the environment.

I think it’s time to let the adage itself die—or better yet, perhaps we can improve upon it by replacing “toys” with “experiences” or even “love”. Those are things that, I think we can all agree, make us feel like we are truly winning at this game called life.