Public Spaces & Private Faces

Or... Another example of why The Golden Rule is still relevant

Recently, I saw a video on Instagram that made me pause. Here’s the quick backstory:

A woman was in a gym and she filmed another gym-goer struggling on a piece of equipment. She then shared the video on her social media with a disparaging caption and commentary. She was subsequently called out by a lot of people for 1) filming someone else, and 2) saying cruel things about the other person, who appeared to be an individual with a developmental disability. After being called out, the woman went back on social media to defend herself stating that a) the person was in a public space and therefore free-game, and b) she was entitled to her opinion. The video I watched was in response to the entire scenario.

Did you get all that? Okay, you’re caught up. (Phew!)

The video I watched explained how this woman had no right to film someone else in public and that her defense was insupportable. While I agree, I’d add a layer to the conversation that I think bears noting: The gym in question was not actually a public space; it was a private space that the public can access.

Big difference.

While I, personally, don’t think it’s ever okay to film other people in public going about their lives without their permission (yes, even if they are a “public persona”), a “public space” and a “private space open to the public” are not the same thing. We really need to understand the difference. For example, a restaurant is a private space that the public can access. It’s not a public space. Similarly, a store or movie theatre are not public spaces.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

In today’s era of cameras everywhere, it can sometimes feel like the basic rules of decency and mutual respect no longer apply. If you’re sitting outside at a restaurant, for example, it may seem as if it’s fair game for someone to take your picture; but it’s not. Furthermore, if you complain about it, they will likely say it’s your fault for simply being outside. This doesn’t feel right to me, and reminds me of a comment Nicola Coughlan made online last year after she was filmed walking around NYC. She wrote: “Normalize not filming strangers in public.” I couldn’t agree more.

Though “public personas” have seemingly had to put up with more of this type of intrusion into their private lives, that doesn’t make it okay. We just rationalize it by saying, “They signed up for this.” But, did they? Or did they just pursue a career that they loved — one that comes with the unhappy side effect of perpetual intrusion?

It didn’t use to be this way. Growing up, I remember a news crew in our neighborhood stopping cars on the road to interview people about an event that happened nearby to a local celebrity. As I sat in the backseat, I specifically remember them asking my mom if it was okay to share their conversation on camera, and if she said yes, we had to sign something. There used to be parameters around capturing other people on film that required permission. But with the advent of social media and camera phones, it almost feels like we are meant to expect that we are being filmed, rather than the opposite. Perhaps more unnervingly, it also seems like we people believe we are somehow giving unspoken approval just by being present.

But, is this true? Or, more importantly, does it have to be? Have we gone too far to be able to make our way back to having basic respect for each other when we are out in public, let alone when we are in private spaces?

I don’t think there is an easy answer, but I do think there can be a simple solution: Let’s normalize and prioritize treating others the way we would like to be treated.

In other words: If you don’t want to be filmed or photographed by a complete stranger (to use however they see fit), don’t do it yourself. That would be a good place to start.

This is The Golden Rule, which nearly every religion and tradition around the world incorporates some version of (see the graphic below). When we choose to follow The Golden Rule, we will create a better society and a happier, more respectful world; it all starts with us, with our decisions on how we show up, every day. Don’t know where to begin? Ask yourself this question: How would I feel if someone did/said this to me? If you wouldn’t like it, don’t do or say it yourself. It really is that simple.

An account I follow shared this image, so I saved it to share here as I think it’s excellent. All rights remain with the original creator of this image.

PS: DID YOU KNOW? Denmark recently proposed a law that allows its citizens to copyright their faces.

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This is a topic that often inspires discussion, so feel free to leave a comment. I reference The Golden Rule a fair amount in my current Understanding Series, which you can find here.