I Feel Out of Whack
"Ask Martina"—A reader-directed column
Q: How do I find balance between what I need and want in life and the needs and wants of my family and friends? These are not always in alignment, and I feel an obligation to serve and help those with whom I’m closest while also working to keep myself happy. Insights appreciated!
– Out of Whack
A: Dear Out of Whack,
Oh boy, this is a question for the ages, isn’t it? Or at least, it’s definitely a question for the “sandwich generation”. Do you know what that is? Here are two definitions:
From Google Dictionary: A generation of people, typically in their thirties or forties, responsible for bringing up their own children and for the care of their aging parents.
From Wikipedia: The sandwich generation is a group of middle-aged adults who care for both their aging parents and their own children. It is not a specific generation or cohort in the sense of the Greatest Generation or the Baby boomer generation, but a phenomenon that can affect anyone whose parents and children need support at the same time.
Of course, those are the generally accepted definitions though it can happen to anyone, at any age. Ultimately, what we’re talking about is the feeling of being out of balance, which can happen to any person who feels trapped between duty/obligation and independence, regardless of age…